And again

What a busy month it's been!  I am trying to see my way out of one job and into my new independent practice, but I am forced to recognize how hard it is to let go.  Is it the salary I don't want to let go of?  In part, I am sure.  But it is more.  It is both the love I have put into and gotten out of the job, and the investment I feel in trying to make things right.  I've been here before, and it isn't all that helpful, but it seems to be my MO.  So what should I do about it?  I could leave the office now, come back when no one is here, and pack up and disappear into the dark.  And maybe that is exactly what I will do.  But I keep finding ways to stay, reasons to make myself "useful."  At least marginally so.
One friend has reminded me (more than once) that by deciding to leave, I made myself not responsible for what happens after I go.  But somehow I return to a sense of responsibility even as my logical mind knows that she is exactly right.  This is no longer "MY" office.  I should take down my kids' art and pack up my books and files.  I did change some passwords so that others can access agency accounts on-line and get things done without me.  But each step that reminds me it isn't about me seems to stop me in my tracks for at least a brief time.  OK, so change is hard.
Meanwhile, a close friend is refusing to talk to me because she is so stuck in a bad relationship that we don't seem to be able to do anything other than make one another feel bad.  I wish I could help, but at the same time I realize I have spent years trying to accommodate her dysfunctional relationship, at a significant cost to myself, and it is right for me to assert more of my needs.  So if she is perfect just as she is, and I am perfect just as I am, then does this mean we just cannot be friends?  I think I am coming to recognize that, for the time being, that may in fact be true.  That statement would have sent me into massive depression and fear not too long ago, so that I can say it with some equanimity is a good sign.  Everything that has happened was in order to bring me to this place.  It is all perfect, just as it is. 
Merry Christmas!